November 19

I hate my work schedule.

Last night I was in bed by 5pm.  This is becoming a pattern (even on my days off) - even with an afternoon nap - and I hate it.  I am becoming so bored with my life that I just fall asleep.  When I have nothing else to do, I sleep.  I realize I need 8 hours of sleep for a healthy nights sleep, but when that happens, I DO NOT need to nap during the day.

My meal schedule is all out of whack because of the early morning hours and though I have been exercising when I can, I have still managed to gain 5 lbs since starting this job.

I hate that I cannot have a normal weekend or weeknight out because I know I have to be to work at 4:30am the next day.

Since I get home at 9:45am and on any given day, don't start teaching my voice lessons until 3, 4, or even 5 in the afternoon, I am lonely and bored, which brings on the naps in the middle of the day.  I tried reading a book.  Again, I doze off.  I need a more active afternoon.  I hate sitting on my butt watching TV or playing on my laptop when I get home because it's the only thing to do.  I can only clean the house so many times before there is nothing more to clean.  I need something to do from 10am-3pm that won't overly exhaust me, but give me a more active afternoon and I want to do it WITH people.  When I am alone, all I want to do is eat or sleep. It's getting ridiculous.

I REALLY miss living in New York City where there was always something to do.  I miss my good friends - after 4 years, I still only have acquaintances here in New England.  I miss the active social life I used to have.  I love my husband, but shouldn't a girl have some girlfriends to go out with?  (Not to mention, because of this job, I barely get time with him in the first place!)

This really isn't the direction I saw my life going ... something needs to change and SOON.